Margie and Lachlan's story

Being struck by lightning and surviving a serious car crash have given Margie St Godard a sense that 'she is meant to be here'.

In 1986, Margie was travelling with her mum, and was in a serious car crash near Nerang. It was sunset, and a driver on the opposite side of the road hit a cyclist and spun out across the motorway.

'The other young woman died,' says Margie, who had already been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, or MS, at the time.

'We—my mum and I—were crunched down in the car. Every bone in my mum's spine was crushed. I remember the policemen were picking out pieces of glass near my eye. Years on, there is still old damage. My neck and back are really bad.'

In 2005, Margie picked up the intercom at home after hearing a knock on the door. It was a stormy night, and lightning came through the phone.

'The noise was unbelievable—I thought a bomb had exploded,' she says.

'I was terribly confused. It blew out the entire street.'

Margie's son, Lachlan, 16, knows she doesn't like storms now.

'They never worried her before, but now she starts to shake,' he says.

'Then I sit with mum and give her a hug.'

• Lachlan talks about his role as a young carer
• Lachlan shares his thoughts about other young carers
• Margie discusses accepting and giving care
• It's a family dynamic.

My role as a young carer: Lachlan

Providing his mum with emotional support is just one of the many ways that Lachlan helps out as her primary carer.

'I do a lot of lifting,' he says.

'I do a lot of carrying. Mum often has trouble walking, so I'm there to help her. I'm often checking on her—do you need water, do you need a fan? I handle phone calls and I do the washing. I (also) help mum with emotional support.'

One of Lachlan's earliest memories is of his mum telling him about her health issues. He was 3 at the time.

'It was saddening to know my mum was sick,' he says.

'I remember crying. I knew I'd have to do more stuff than kids normally would.'

Lachlan says that although it's hard at times, he accepts the responsibility of supporting his mum.

'Frankly,' he says, ‘I love my mum. It's my job to look after her. I'm a very happy person, and part of that is the close relationship I have with my mum. We work well together.'

Other young carers: Lachlan's perspective

Lachlan says life can be really tough for young carers—especially if they provide support in a single-parent household and if they or a family member have a mental health issue.

'These kids have to look after themselves and their parents,' he says.

'A lot of the time, for other young carers, it's a thankless job. It's also a lot harder to associate with other kids that haven't experienced this kind of stuff.'

He says most young carers have experienced bullying ‘to some degree', and it has affected many of them.

'They might snap and do something stupid,' he says.

'Others are the complete opposite-they are shy and introverted people.'

Receiving the right support, says Lachlan, is vital for young carers.

Disability Online has information about support that's available for young people and adults with dealing with bullying. You can also find out more about support that's available for young carers.

Accepting and giving care: Margie's perspective

Margie receives support from her husband, Rene, as well as from Lachlan.

Rene helps Margie with toileting and bedding. He also cooks meals-as humidity and heat (including the heat generated using a stove or oven) can worsen the symptoms of MS.

'He works full-time,' says Margie.

'It's very tiring for him.'

Margie's mum, who has severe dementia, also lived with the family until a few years ago.

Margie and Lachlan shared the responsibility of caring for her, even though Lachlan was very young.

'If I couldn't get downstairs to help her put her shoes on or get her breakfast, Lachie had to do it,' says Margie.

'Lachie was my back-up when I couldn't assist my mum. As her dementia worsened, her behaviour sometimes became erratic. For example, she sometimes started fires accidentally.'

It's a family dynamic

Margie says Lachlan and Rene give her invaluable support.

'It's a family relationship... a family dynamic,' she says.

'You've got to try to pull together.'

Lachlan has recently finished his Year 11 exams. He has dyslexia, and Margie and Rene helped him prepare for the testing. He also has a tutor provided by Young Carers Project (Brisbane South).

'I had a huge amount of schoolwork and my mum and dad both spent several hours trying to help me,' says Lachlan.

'I'm really grateful to them.'

Margie has talked to Lachlan about his goals for when he finishes school, and he has his sights set on studying a double degree in Psychology and Criminology.

'I talked it through with my mum,' he says.

'It has grown from that. I know what I need to do and what I want to do.'

Margie says accepting support from a young carer—while providing her son with guidance at the same time—requires understanding roles and responsibilities.

'It's a fine balance to remain in the parenting role so your kids know they are being parented,' she says.

Margie is inspired by her son.

'He is irrepressibly cheerful,' she says.

For someone that has always been really serious, like me, that's "wow". I've learnt to lighten up and go with the flow. He is the most loving, loyal person I've ever come across in my life. He's inspiring.'