Emotional support

There is no right or wrong way to feel when diagnosed with a life-limiting illness or receiving bad news. It can be frightening.

You might experience a range of emotions such as anger, hopelessness, guilt, fear, relief, anxiety, or grief. Coping with these feelings is a personal journey, and there is no right or wrong way to go through this adjustment. As time passes, emotions may change. There is no set timeline for how long any particular feeling will last.

Intense thoughts and feelings such as sadness, anger, fear, anxiety, disbelief, panic, relief, shame, and nostalgia may arise. Not everyone will experience all of these emotions, and they may not come in any specific order. Whatever the feelings, it is important to remember that no one has to go through it alone.

Support services

Dealing with emotions can sometimes be managed with the support of family and friends, but extra help may be needed. Many organisations can assist in understanding and coping with grief and loss.

For some, the feeling of being unable to cope with their situation persists, making it difficult to engage in necessary, desired, or enjoyable activities. If these feelings continue, it may be beneficial to consult with a healthcare team. Medication and counselling or therapy can often make a significant difference.

Healthcare teams can assist in accessing social workers, psychologists, spiritual advisors, or support groups. GPs can also provide referrals to appropriate services.

PalAssist

PalAssist is specifically for palliative care patients, carers, family and friends seeking practical information and emotional support. PalAssist is free for Queensland residents. Call 1800 772 273, chat online or email at info@palassist.org (from 7am to 7pm, 7 days).

Find more information about other support groups and mental health services.

Talking to children about serious illness and death

Adults often feel the need to protect children from death. They may feel that children will not understand or may become upset. We can underestimate their ability to cope. They may be more frightened by imagined events if they are not told what is happening.

Children should be given the facts in a simple manner. Give them time to ask questions (which may be very direct) and offer plenty of reassurance.

It is helpful for adults to share their feelings with children as this shows it is normal to feel sad when someone has a life-limiting illness or has died.

A grieving child may act out so look for changes in behaviour and if they are at school, make sure the teacher is aware of the situation.

Learn more about children’s grief and loss or speak with your healthcare providers for more information.