LGBTQIA+ sexuality
LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning (one’s sexual or gender identity), intersex, and asexual/aromantic/agender) adolescents will be figuring out lots of things, including sexuality. Sexuality is about who you feel romantic and sexual attraction towards. Everybody's sexuality is different and deeply personal.
Scientists aren’t exactly sure what makes people attracted to different genders, but they believe it is something that occurs early in development.
It’s important to know that it’s completely normal to be attracted to people of any gender or not feel attraction at all.
There are many different preferences when we talk about sexuality. You may be attracted to one gender only, or be attracted to a diversity of people regardless of sex or gender, with a lot of different preferences in-between.
Some sexual identities include:
- Straight/heterosexual: attracted the opposite sex or gender
- Gay/homosexual: attracted to the same sex or gender
- Lesbian: attracted to women and femme people (when you are a woman or nonbinary person)
- Bisexual: attracted to people of the same gender and other genders. Everyone’s experience is a little different, and bi doesn’t necessarily mean being attracted to only two genders
- Asexual or aromantic: have no or less sexual or romantic attraction to others.
You can read more definitions of different sexualities at Kids Helpline.
Figuring out your sexuality
Understanding your sexuality can be a difficult process and, for some people, can take many years.
During this time, you might experiment or have thoughts about being with someone of a certain gender, but that doesn’t necessarily define your sexuality.
Go easy on yourself. There is no time limit to figuring out how you identify, or pressure to openly identify.
What you are going through is completely normal and lots of people around you may also be going through the same thing.
It can help you to read about other people’s experiences in the community, and know you are not alone in how you feel.
You can read more about understanding your sexuality on Reach Out’s website.
Coming out
Coming out and telling others how you define yourself, for example that you have feelings towards people of the same gender, can be rewarding, but sometimes difficult. It’s healthier to be open about who you are, but you should only do so when it’s right for you.
Find out how people might react and how to deal with negative reactions and people who harass you.
Discrimination of LGBTQIA+ communities
LGBTQIA+ people are often discriminated against, both online and in real life. This can include obvious behaviour like verbal or physical abuse. But it can also include subtle discrimination like refusing to use someone’s correct pronouns, or referring to their boyfriend or girlfriend of the same sex as their “friend”.
It’s important to be kind to everyone around you, and to call out other people’s discriminatory behaviour when you see it
Young LGBTQIA+ people with a history of verbal, sexual and/or physical victimisation and abuse have higher levels of social and mental health problems than heterosexual young people.
Some of these problems include sexual risk-taking, dangerous use of drugs and alcohol, dropping out of school, homelessness, self-harm and thoughts of suicide.
Where to get support
Some people may find the discovery of their sexuality stressful and confronting. There are many support services available to speak to if you are struggling with your sexuality.
Find an LGBTQIA+ support service.