What is domestic and family violence?

There is no place for abusive or controlling behaviour in a healthy relationship.

Domestic and family violence (DFV) can take many forms and may not always be physical. Sometimes it can be hard to recognise the signs of a harmful relationship, however, DFV is where one person in a relationship uses violence or abuse to maintain power and control over the other  person.

DFV can include behaviours, or a pattern of behaviour, that is physically, sexually, emotionally, psychologically, or economically abusive, threatening, coercive or aimed at controlling or dominating a person through fear.

Coercive control is a defining feature of DFV. This is when one person uses a pattern of abusive behaviours (physical and/or non-physical) to control and dominate the other person.

DFV can take many forms, including:

• Physical abuse – such as hitting, punching, kicking, biting, pushing, choking or strangulation, depriving the other person of sleep and food.
• Emotional abuse – such as constant put downs, name calling, humiliation, threatening to “out” someone’s sexuality.
• Sexual violence – such as unwanted sexual activity or sexual degradation, rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment and reproductive coercion (controlling contraception, preventing or forcing an abortion).
• Social violence – such as controlling or isolating someone from friends or family, using jealousy to justify abusive actions, limiting the other person’s social activity, where they go and who they see, what they read.
• Financial abuse – such as controlling all the money, preventing the other person from getting or keeping a job, dowry related abuse, making the other person ask for money or making them account for all their spending.
• Spiritual violence – such as preventing someone from practising their faith or culture, ridiculing their spiritual beliefs.
• Intimidation and threats – such as threatening to hurt the other person, their children, family, friends and pets, threatening to commit suicide if they leave, making the other person drop any charges, making them do illegal things
• Technology facilitated abuse – such as using text, email or phone to abuse, monitor, humiliate or punish, tracking or monitoring the other person’s movements and messages or e-mails, distributing private or sexual photos or videos

Queensland’s DFV laws and who they apply to

In Queensland, the Domestic and Family Violence Protection Act (2012) includes laws that help protect people from DFV. The law covers people in different relationships including:

• Romantic and intimate relationships—any relationship with or between boyfriends, girlfriends, partners, engaged or married couples, separated and divorced couples. This includes straight and LGBTIQ+ couples. It also includes past relationships, like couples who have broken up, separated, or divorced.
• Family relationships—any relationship with someone you are related to, like parents, adult children, grandparents, cousins, aunts, or uncles. It also includes relatives by marriage, such as in-laws or stepparents. In your culture, other people may also be called family or kin, like Elders in Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities.
• Informal care relationship—when one person depends on another person for daily needs, like getting dressed, cooking or shopping. It doesn’t include help provided by a paid worker such as a disability support worker.

Violence or abuse that happens outside of these relationships may not be covered by Queensland’s DFV legislation but can be reported to the police to investigate.

DFV and coercive control are serious and can affect anyone regardless of their age, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion, ability, or location. However, most DFV is directed towards women by their male partner or ex-partner and coercive and controlling behaviours are almost exclusively used by men towards women.

It is never your fault if you experience DFV and coercive control.

It is the responsibility of the person using controlling or abusive behaviours to stop hurting those they say they care about.

Find out how to get support if you’re concerned about your behaviour, or you may be using harmful behaviour in your relationship.

Coercive control

Coercive control is when someone uses a pattern of abusive behaviours over time that hurt, humiliate, isolate, frighten, or threaten another person in order to control or dominate them.

Coercive control is almost always an underpinning dynamic of DFV and from 26 May 2025, coercive control will be a criminal offence in Queensland. Learn more about changes to the law.

Signs of DFV

DFV has a significant impact on the health and wellbeing of victim-survivors in the immediate and longer term and can continue even after the relationship has ended.

Victim-survivors may experience:

• Physical injuries ranging from bruising to life threatening injuries and death
• Brain injuries
• Hearing loss
• Vision loss
• Miscarriage or early delivery
• Sexually transmitted infections
• Post traumatic stress disorder
• Alcohol and substance misuse
• Suicide attempts or self-harm
• Eating disorders
• Homelessness
• Long term poverty.

Someone experiencing DFV may:

• Seem afraid of their partner or former partner, family member or informal carer.
• Have been choked or strangled by their partner.
• Try to hide bruises, for example by wearing long sleeves in summer or giving unlikely explanations for injuries.
• Have little or no say about how money is spent.
• Stop seeing friends and family and become isolated.
• Become depressed, unusually quiet or lose confidence.
• Show signs of neglect if they are older or have a disability.
• Have a partner who frequently accuses them of cheating or continually checks up on them.
• Be reluctant to leave their children with their partner.
• Suspect they are being stalked or followed.

They may be in greater danger if:

• There is a history of DFV.
• Violence has escalated within the relationship.
• Their partner is stalking or monitoring their movements.
• They separate or plan to separate from their partner.
• They start a new relationship, or their ex-partner believes they have.
• There are issues about child custody or access to children.
• They are pregnant.
• They have a disability.
• There is financial hardship or unemployment.
• The partner has a history of physical violence, mental illness, substance misuse, or access to weapons.

Find out how to support someone experiencing DFV.

Help is available when you’re ready to ask

If someone is making you feel scared, threatened, or controlling you, trust your instincts and talk to someone you can trust.

Help is available if you could be experiencing DFV, even if you are not being physically hurt.

These services may be able to help if you are experiencing DFV:

• Women (DV Connect)
• Men (DV Connect)
• 1800 RESPECT
• LGBTIQIA+ communities – including:
  • LGBTI legal service
  • young people and seniors who identity as LGBTIQIA+
  • police liaison and support for the LGBTIQIA+ community
  • QLIFE.

Find other support services in your local area.