Help to recover and heal

Recovering or healing from the impacts of domestic and family violence (DFV ) is a journey and can take time. You may feel a range of emotions. This is normal. Some days you may feel strong and confident about the decisions you have made.  Other days you may feel overwhelmed by sadness, anxiety and uncertainty. You may feel as if you have lost your confidence and your sense of self as a person because of experiencing abuse and coercive control. All these feelings are completely normal and valid.

You may experience some of the following thoughts or feelings:

• missing the abusive person
• feeling lonely or isolated
• debating going back to the relationship
• feeling uncertain or unable to make decisions by yourself
• feelings of anxiety or depression
• finding it difficult to feel independent
• a sense of fear or sense of being in danger
• symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.

The recovery and healing process is never a straight line, but there are ways to help get your confidence back and find support to help you move forward and make decisions about your future.

Create a safety plan

Your safety and that of any children, is paramount. Having a safety plan can give you a sense of control and protection. Think about what you need to help keep yourself safe from the abusive person.

Accept that you are not responsible for the domestic and family violence you have experienced

It’s common for victim-survivors to feel they are somehow responsible for the abuse, control or violence they have experienced. This is not true. People who use violence and control decide to harm and control you. They are responsible for their actions and decisions – not you. Understanding more about  DFV and how it plays out in families and relationships can help you to understand it is not your fault. Find out about the different types of behaviours that DFV can include and remember, DFV is not just about physical abuse.

Build a strong support network

Having a good support network can help you feel stronger and more connected during the healing process. Your support network might include family, friends, a therapist, GP, coach, personal trainer, or support group.

Ask for help

There are support services available  to help  you  cope after leaving a harmful or controlling  relationship. You don’t have to do this alone.

Healing from a harmful relationship

Here are some resources that may help on your journey to heal from a harmful relationship. Women’s Health and Wellbeing Services can be a good place to start.

Health and wellbeing

• Relationships Australia Queensland – healing from emotional abuse
• Health and wellbeing – Queensland Government
• Mental health and wellbeing – Queensland Government
• Helplines, counselling and support groups
• Dear mind
• Mental health support and counselling for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples
• Get legal advice
• Find legal support options
• Get financial support
• Protect your finances
• Housing support and accommodation