Increasing safety if planning to leave a harmful relationship

You have a right to be safe and respected in your relationships. You have the right to live without fear of domestic and family violence.

It can be hard and scary to leave an abusive or controlling person and may take some time. However, there are things you could consider when planning to leave to help increase your safety

This is important as the time leading up to leaving the abusive person, and the time just after leaving, can be the most dangerous time for you and any children that may be in the home.

Learn more about:

• Healthy and respectful relationships
• Examples of harmful behaviours
• Domestic and family violence
• The patterns of coercive control

Build up a support network and stay connected

Domestic and family violence is not your fault, and you don't need to go through this alone.

Here are some ways to stay connected with individuals and services that can support you:

• Reach out to support services  that specialise in working with people who are experiencing or at risk of domestic and family violence. Find a local support service in your area.
• Stay in touch with trusted friends and family. Talk to them about how you're going and feeling.
• Talk to neighbours that you know and trust, ask them to call 000 if they hear  or see anything of concern.
• Set up a code word with trusted family and friends that you can say out loud or text them if you need them to call the police on 000 on your behalf.
• Ask trusted friends or family if you and your children are able to stay with them temporarily in the future. If this is an option, consider packing a bag and taking copies of important documents such as birth certificates and leaving them at your friend or family members’ house. More information on what to pack in a bag for yourself and your children, can be accessed on the 1800RESPECT Escape Bag Checklist.
• Call DVConnect  Womensline to get crisis support on 1800 811 811. Access other support helplines.
• Connect or talk to other domestic and family violence victim-survivors, (through groups or organisations) as they will understand what you’re going through.  Find help and support options.

Have a safety plan

Having a safety plan can help for those times when you feel unsafe or are at risk of being hurt.

A simple safety plan can be made for yourself with help from a friend or family member, but you don’t have to do this alone. A support service can help you make a detailed safety plan.   Find a local support service near you.

Safety planning with children and young people

Including children and young people in your safety plan can help to increase their physical and emotional safety. For more information on safety planning with children and young people:

• DVAC Safety Planning with Children and Young People

Accessing financial assistance

Financial and debt assistance is available for people affected by domestic and family violence.

• Financial assistance for victims of crime
• Emergency Relief Program
• Crisis payments for extreme circumstances
• Legal information about money issues and debt
• How to manage your debts
• Information to help women manage money

If possible, try to have some cash or a hidden bank account or credit card saved up or available. You can open a bank account online but get your statements sent to a trusted friend’s address or use a post office box. Australia Post offers free mail redirection for anyone experiencing domestic and family violence to ensure your mail arrives at your new address. Australia Post also offers a free PO Box for up to 23 months. Find out how to apply for the Australia Post PO Box and Mail Redirection. Use a computer that the person using violence doesn’t have access to.

Some banks offer assistance packages to victims of domestic and family violence. Call your bank to see if they offer this or download the Financial institutions with DFV support PDF from our publications portal.

Using technology safely

If you're concerned someone is monitoring you by reading your emails, checking your phone calls, or following your movements through social media, there are steps you can take to protect your personal information and increase your security online. Find out how to use technology safely .

Having conversations with children and young people about online safety is important. If you’re concerned about the online safety of a child or young person or want to know how to discuss online safety, the following resources may help:

• eSafety Supporting children experiencing domestic and family violence
• eSafety Keeping your family safe

Getting legal advice

If you share children and property with the person using violence, it’s best to know what your legal rights are.

Here are some services you can contact for advice and information:

• Legal Aid Queensland: 1800 957 957
• Women’s Legal Service Queensland: 1800 957 957
• Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Legal Service Queensland: 1800 012 255
• LGBTI Legal Service: 07 3124 7160
• Community Legal Centres Queensland: 07 3392 0092

Find out how to:

• Get legal help or advice
• Access legal services and help

Safe accommodation, housing, renting and property

If you are worried about where you will live, or how to pay your mortgage or after leaving a harmful relationship, there are services that can help.

If you are renting

You can vacate immediately and end your interest in the tenancy by providing the property manager/owner 7 days’ notice if you are in a rental property and can no longer safely stay at home.

You can do this by giving your property manager/owner a Notice ending tenancy interest (domestic and family violence) (Form 20) including any relevant evidence.

For more information contact:

• Tenants Queensland for free statewide advice and service for tenants on 1300 744 263.
• Residential Tenancies Authority on 1300 366 311.

Find out more about ending your tenancy agreement.

If you are living in public housing

Contact your nearest Housing Service Centre if you are worried the violence you are experiencing is going to affect your tenancy, or you need immediate help to access and maintain safe housing.

There are protections in place to help keep you safe if you are living in public housing, such as:

• You can vacate the property immediately.
• You won’t be responsible for costs for property damage caused due to DFV or goods left behind.
• You can also change the locks without consent.

Find out more about staying in public housing.

If you have a mortgage

Contact your bank if you are paying a mortgage and you need to leave the property but are worried about what this means for your mortgage payments. Many banks have staff available to talk confidentially with you about your mortgage options.