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This website discusses domestic and family violence and coercive control.
Call Triple Zero (000) and ask for Police if you are in a dangerous or life-threatening situation.
If you don't want to speak to the police you can also call DV Connect on 1800 811 811 or 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week).
Find other support options
Your partner or ex partner’s violent, controlling or abusive behaviour is not your fault. You have the right to live free from violence and to be safe in your relationships.
Here are some tips to help you increase your safety if you are in a relationship where there is domestic and family violence.
Don’t blame yourself but recognise your strength
Even if you think the abuse, control or violence is your fault – it isn’t. Domestic and family violence is not caused by something you say or do or didn’t say or do. The person using violence is responsible for their behaviour. Only they can make a choice to stop using violence or abuse.
The way you cope each day to help keep yourself and your children safe, is evidence of your strength as a person.
Stay connected to support networks
Domestic and family violence is not your fault, and you don't need to go through this alone.
Here are some ways to stay connected with people who can support you:
- Reach out to support services and organisations specialising in working with people who are experiencing or at risk of domestic and family violence such as DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811. Or find a local support service in your area.
- Stay in touch with trusted friends and family. Talk to them about how you're going.
- Talk to neighbours that you know and trust, ask them to call 000 if they hear violence or abuse.
- Set up a code word with trusted family and friends that you can say out loud or text them in case they need to call the police on 000 on your behalf.
- Connect or talk to other family and domestic violence survivors, (through groups or organisations) as they will understand what you’re going through. Find help and support options. If you have children, talk to their teacher, principle or school counsellor about your concerns and explore what supports can be provided to children when they’re at school.
Have a safety plan
Having a safety plan in place can help you stay safe and to know what you need to do and take if you decide to leave.
A simple safety plan can be made for yourself with help from a friend or family member, but you don’t have to do this alone. A support service such as 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) can help you make a detailed safety plan.
Safety planning with children and young people
Including children and young people in your safety plan helps to increase their physical and emotional safety in the home. For more information on safety planning with children and young people:
Know your rights
You have the right to be safe and respected, and live without fear of domestic and family violence.
Legal rights and domestic violence orders
A domestic violence order (DVO) is an official document issued by the court to stop threats or acts of domestic violence. It is designed to keep you safe by making it illegal for the person who has committed domestic violence against you to behave in specific ways. You can ask the police to apply to the court for a DVO. Otherwise, you can apply directly to the court yourself, or ask a lawyer, community/welfare worker, or friend or family member to apply for you.
After the DVO has been made, the magistrate will explain what the order means to the person using violence (or the respondent) and what will happen if they breach or break the order.
Find out how to:
Look after yourself
Living day to day with domestic and family violence is scary and can be overwhelming. You may feel hopeless, anxious and depressed. It is important to look after yourself. Try to find a safe place for time out
Find a supportive GP, friend, family member or colleague and tell them what is happening for you if you can. Especially if you have thoughts or hurting yourself. There are many services that you can reach out to. Find out how to access help and support options.
Use technology safely
If you're concerned someone is monitoring you by reading your emails, checking your phone calls, or following your movements through social media, there are steps you can take to protect your personal information and increase your security online. Find out how to use technology safely.